The Mess with the In-Laws

my relationship with the in-laws have not been smooth sailing from the start.

norman & i did try to work out a solution, but now talks of it have diminished cuz there is simply none.

this has led me to the fortright & upfront feedback to him that "less contact less friction" which i guess is the best way to handle an otherwise unpleasant experience.

was talking to a girlfriend over dinner last night and it dawned on me that i dun really noe how to evaluate my relationship with the in-laws.

on a high note, it can be quite cool but on a low note, it can be damn cold.

i know the importance of both kinship & this relationship called "LOVE"... but sometimes i wonder if these can go hand in hand in everyone's case.

it's not about sacrificing one for another but it's the realization that sometimes, some things can't be brought together.

we're coming two. and i believe, as hard as i've tried, the in-laws have tried.

but i tink we have also come to the realization that i'll never be that daughter-in-law that they probably desire and they might probably not have the culture i've always belonged to.

i've gotta admit, i m probably not the traditional girlfriends whose moms would take a liking too. to make things worse, i din even quite get along well with my mom till recent couple of years.

just some random thoughts about in-laws, in general...

• mummies like girlfriends who are independent - even though they themselves might not be. cuz they think it wld be a burden to their son and it might free up some space for mommy-son time.
  
• mummies like girlfriends who do household chores - even though they don serve their hubbies well. they expect their sons to be served.
  
• mummies like girlfriends who are financially-abled - even though they expect their hubbies to bring in bread & butter. they are afraid that you'll blood suck their son or eye on their wealth.

anymore? haha. i bet married women have loads more to add...

for me, i can't exactly pinpoint where the problem lies... some issues are -

1. Religion - In-Law is anti-christianity...
   
2. Traditions - In-Law places a higher value on male than female...
   
3. Expectations - In-Law imposes expectations on my other half that kindda makes me feel suffocated...
4. Moodswings - In-Laws moods changes as frequently and as unpredictably as the London Weather...
5. Silent Treatment - In-Law suddenly gives the cold shoulder for no apparent reason...

My head always spins when i m thinking about trouble with the in-laws : it's psychological. i wished this could be worked out... but i m a realist and i accept the truth that some things are never meant to be.

i'll take it in my stride and go with the tides.